FOSTERING A GROWTH MINDSET

I want to talk about mindset. I am not going to type a bunch about positive thinking or affirmations, but rather supportively challenge you a bit to consider the below information and how it may benefit you, if, or maybe I should say when, you struggle with negative thinking patterns.

In the simplest explanation, everything literally starts with your mindset. Every thought, everything you see and the way you see it, your actions through all of it, your opinions, your view of yourself, your view of others and so forth.  It is truly the driving force of the way we go through our lives, as it impacts the actions we do or don’t take, but guess what, it is able to be changed if you are willing to stop doing what you've always done and start being intentional with your thoughts.

Our brain is trying its best to guide us through each and every day. Let me first say that I professionally and personally know we cannot change everything we may experience in this life, like trauma, grief, illness, natural disasters, or poverty for example. There is no magic wand, but, as humans we can alter the way we cope with it. Your mindset is the deciding factor on how you will go through the motions of life, how you feel for the future, how you view yourself, how you view others or even if you see the world with a fog of mistrust, uncertainty, doubt, and pain, or, a world of opportunity, resilience, hopefulness and growth. 

Our brain is simply responding to our mindset. So how can we be more intentional and strive for a healthier, balanced mindset towards a higher peak of wellness? Be intentional. Our brain focuses on what we think is important to us. We have our Reticular Activating System (RAS), which is a network of neurons in the brainstem that focus on behavior, motivation, fight versus flight, etc., to thank for that. The RAS has the job to show us what we think is important to us throughout the day. If we go through the day to day without being intentional, the RAS shows us whatever we spend our time, thoughts, and overall focus on. Now put that on repeat and truly think about that for a minute. This can create a world of distress or beauty, depending on your mindset. If you doubt yourself every day, your mind is constantly doubting, not just one situation, or one moment of hesitation, it's now resulting in your mind swirling about self-doubt.  It flows over not just how you see yourself, but how you feel a sense of integrity or despair with your interactions, your relationships, your job, your goals and so forth. So, when we spend so much energy on things, our RSA learns that this must be important to us and begins blocking ALL the other things, including the positive things we are experiencing.

So, what do we do to filter our brain for a healthier and more balanced mindset? There are a lot of different ways, but nothing that is light in context. First, stop being used to the way things are. I don’t want you to cope with telling yourself, “It will be what it will be.” No, we can alter the way we cope with something, we can change our perspective of a really crappy situation and do our best to notice what we have control over and how to promote a sense of balance even in moments of pain. This isn’t about just being positive, it's truly the way our brain has programmed over time and of course, life has altered the way we think, the way we feel and the way we see the world. 

Start focusing on your needs, your voice, your thoughts. Next, start chipping away at the negative thinking patterns and pay more attention to the way your mind can work for you. Fuel your brain to support yourself, not work against you. What do you say to yourself? How often do you say it? What can you do to support yourself to change? Change can occur. Changed actions and behaviors can occur too. Your mindset can change to support yourself. If you can think bad thoughts, why not make up some purposeful patterns of thinking? Reduce these thinking cycles…. What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t do this on my own? What if…. what if…. what if…The pattern just keeps happening. Now, create a moment to pause that thinking pattern. Ask yourself what if it does work out? What if I do great? What if I like meeting new people? What if I rebuild trust with my friend? What if I practice healthier habits for my physical health? REFRAME YOUR THOUGHTS. 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is one reframing technique used to reduce the negative or unhelpful thinking patterns and shift your thinking patterns to a more purposeful and balanced thought. Let’s put this into action, let’s first identify the pattern of negative thinking. Think about a recent situation that you had to deal with that was difficult. Ask yourself what your automatic thought was about the situation? Example: My boss emailed me asking for me to come see him before leaving for the evening. Automatic thought: “Great, what new task is going to be added to my plate now?  I am already so overwhelmed.”

Now Examine the Evidence: Ask yourself, do these thoughts hold any evidence? Is this factual or is this my own opinion or assumption? Put your thoughts to the challenge. Is the only reason your boss may want to talk to you is because he wants to assign more responsibility or tasks? Now reframe your thoughts by replacing the negative thoughts (assumption) with a more balanced thought. “I can practice boundaries and be assertive if I am asked to consider a new task that I do not feel I can manage in my role right now.”  How do your emotions shift when you reframe this situation?

Reframing may sound pretty simple, but it takes a lot of intentional effort. Our mind has been really diligent with noticing the negative, so it can be trying at first to put reframing into play. With that being said, it deserves your effort. You are going to improve our mental and emotional wellness. You will be able to reduce the distressing emotions you can feel due to a negative mindset, improve your ability to see positives, and strengthen resilience. Not only will this promote more balance for yourself, but it will also improve your view towards others, reducing misunderstandings, difficult communications, critical thinking patterns, and undesirable emotional dysregulation. 

Your mind impacts everything, and that is truly a pretty big deal, isn’t it? How can you be intentional about taking better care of yours? Reframe your mindset, your quality of life and wellness is worth the intentional effort.

Fostering Healing,

Julie Shaw, LMSW